Econamy

Sometime this year, we the American taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program.

I'll explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China

If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .

If you purchase fruit and vegetable's, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .

If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1 spending it at yard sales, or
2 going to ball games, or
3 spending it on prostitutes, or
4 beer or
5 tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .)

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day

Knowledge

A giant ship engine failed. The ship's owners tried many experts, bt none of them could figure how 2 fix it.

Then they brought an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a young.. He carried a large bag of tools with him, & when he arrived, he immediately went 2 work. He inspected engine very carefully.

2 of d ship owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what 2 do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for 10,000 dollars.
"What?!"the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."

The man sent a bill that read: Tapping with a hammer: $2 Knowing where 2 tap: $9,998

Moral of story is:Effort is important, but knowing where 2 make an effort makes all the difference